I would like to share about how I came to Christ. I come from a family whom, my grandmother was a shaman. My parents were not devoted to the practice of shamanism and animism or God throughout my childhood. When I became older, they remained the same in their belief. Even when I got married, I knew something in my marriage was missing and that was because I didn’t have God in my life.
I accepted Jesus into my life in the fall of 2005 when I started going to Hmong Community Alliance Church. From then on my life has been blessed in so many ways from God. Before I came to Christ, my life wasn’t going the way I wanted it to be. My wife and I got married in August of 2000. We were living with my parents at that time. Even though I was married yet I felt I had no control of what I wanted to do in my marriage. My parents were always telling my wife and I what to do even though we didn’t like it. My wife would always get mad at me for not saying anything. I didn’t want to live a life like that so I knew that I had to take control of my marriage. In the summer
of 2003 my wife and I moved out so that we’ll have the freedom to do what we wanted to do with our lives.
In 2004, we both wanted to start a family so we began praying to God to help us. We asked God to bless us with children. During this time was a tough time because there was a possibility that we could not have children and at the same time we were still deciding to follow Christ. When the Lord blessed us with Abigail in June of 2005, we were certain we were going to commit our life to follow God and let Him lead the way. I care and love my parents, but I knew for myself that this was the right decision for my own family, although my parents may not agree with it.
We started going to church at Hmong Community. We attended the young couple’s class where Pastor Jacob was teaching. I remember during a class while listening to Pastor Jacob talk about what type of excuses people make about not wanting to follow God and Jesus. I felt that his teaching was what I’ve always needed to learn about to help me in my walk with Christ. I could see the changes in us while we were learning from church and the young couple’s class. My wife and I started talking about what we’ve learned. The changes were good things. We talked about what we both wanted in life and what we would like to change about ourselves. We wanted to follow God and Jesus from then on for the rest of our lives and never turn back.

Before I accepted Jesus Christ into my life my mother had a great influence on building my faith. I was raised in a Christian family. My Mother and Father were Christians from Laos. Both my mother and fathers’ family were Christians. Being raised by a single parent my life was hard and full of struggles. I have five siblings and all of us were very young when my father passed away. My mother relied on God for hope and guidance when the family faced hard times. I remember going to church as young as six years old. My mother taught me how to pray every night. I would see her reading the bible and singing Christian songs. When I was afraid she would pray for me. She set a good example for me as a Christian.

During my teens I always attended church. I was known as the innocent little church girl. I was very timid, quiet and self-conscious. I did not have any friends at church. Each Sunday, I sat on the pew in service with my sister Pla and my Mom. Years went by, and as I sat on the pews every single week I received God’s Words and wisdom into my heart without knowing. When I was 17years old I broke out of being shy and had more self-esteem. I became popular in the youth group because I was in the volleyball team at church. I felt accepted because I was with the most popular group in our youth group and from there on my friends at church had a great influence on my life, personality and values.

I was 18 when I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart. When I was about 17 years old I was moved by the Holy Spirit. I felt like I have to surrender my life to Jesus Christ. But I was scared so I ignored the call. It took about 1 ½ years before I was fully committed to Christ. In the summer of 1994 I was moved by the Holy Spirit again. I was with all my friends attending the Annual Youth conference and that week I surrendered to the Holy Spirit. I asked Jesus Christ into my heart during a service session. I gave my life to Jesus Christ. I thought to my self what have I got to loose? I believe in God. I go to church every Sunday and learn about God’s words and try to live it. So why should I be scare to claim Him as my lord and savior? I wanted to serve Him with all my heart, strength and mind. I wanted to do what is good and righteous. I wanted my soul to be saved. I wanted to go to Heaven, because I know that in heaven God will reign and I will never fear pain, loneliness, death, and evil. I decided to accept Jesus into my heart and was baptized.

After receiving Jesus Christ into my heart I was tempted. I had bad dreams every night the following week. I was very impatient and angry all the time. But through continuous prayers and walking closely with God I over came that test. The Holy Spirit filled my heart with joy and peace. I wanted to serve God and He knew my heart’s desires so that year I was elected by the youth group to be the secretary for our youth. Through God’s grace I became a leader. I once was lost. I once was so shy. But he called me out of my shyness and made me something great. That was the year I met Pastor Jacob. God took me from being nothing and raised me up in Him. I got married right after I graduated and attended Crown College with Pastor Jacob. After he graduated from college the Lord took us from one ministry to another. We started our first ministry at Twin Cities and worked there for four years. Then we joined New Life in Christ for about two years. After that we went to serve at Hmong Community for one year and then the Lord called us to do a church plant to start Light of the World Alliance Church.

Our God is a faithful God. If you believe and trust Him with all your heart, soul and mind He will lead, guide and bless you. He will lift you up to become something great. My life is a testimony to that. I believe that we are prince and princesses of the most high and soon we will have eternity with our Father in Heaven.

I remember during my childhood, I always hated attending church, I hated all the song rehearsals that I sang unwillingly, and at the time, all religious activities were a waste of my time. I used to listen to heavy rock music before I was saved by the hand of God. I spoke Green Hmong a little, but I mainly spoke White Hmong. I also spoke English, and I spoke swear words. Swearing was common to me. I didn’t even notice that I was swearing. I had plenty of enemies to go around. Among them were my family and friends. I was even an enemy of myself sometimes. Besides swearing, the sentences I used were very negative. This helped out a lot in my recruiting of enemies.

One day, a small occurrence shattered all my dreams, and something larger than an earthquake took my life. It was around my 10^th grade year in high school that my father explained the doctrine salvation to me that I was saved. This was the thing that was larger than an earthquake. It turned my world upside down. Christ took my life and made it new. My father was a pastor ever since my elementary school days, but his relationship to me was not like a friend. He only had a father and son relationship with me. Xh. Kos Muas was my youth pastor during my high school years. He was a friend to many of us in that youth group in Twin Cities Hmong Alliance. He took us fishing; he took us to concerts and many other activities. These little things that he did changed me and many other people. Through him by being a friend, the Holy Spirit impacted me.

A powerful tool that the Holy Spirit used to minister to me in my growth spiritually was Christian rock music. I remember secular music, meaning any music that was not affiliated with Christian music, had an indirect, subtle, but negative message. The messages I received from secular music in one way was that finding that special someone is worth dying for. Another message was that I had to prove myself to be the best among others. Another message is that drugs and smoking them are the keys to girls, wealth and power. Sex is another message that music brings. “If it makes you happy, then it can’t be that bad” –Sheryl Crow. I haven’t fallen into the traps of these messages because like every man and women. I knew what was right and what was wrong, and I chose what was obviously right. The Christian rock and a variety of other Christian music easily replaced the secular. I never read the Scriptures, so the music I was listening to, read it for me.

God used His Scripture, the Bible, He used people, and many things to turn me in the opposite direction that I was heading. My relationship to God today is like the attracting polar forces of two magnets put together. My life is heading in a totally different direction. I have understood the great worth of Christ dying for me. Knowing this worth, I am willing to die for Christ. The only thing worth living for is the only thing worth dying for.

In 2000, Ryan and I got married. During that time, I was a full-time student, working part-time and we have our son Jeff in 2001. I felt the struggle of having to do many things at the same time and so I constantly wanted to be alone. Our life together seemed to be fine but as time passed; it was like we both lived in our own separate worlds. We didn’t spend time with each other or have fun together. At times, I would do things my way and if I was mad at Ryan, it would take a long time to let it go and be happy again.

Between 2003-2005, Ryan met Keith through one his Aunt and Uncle. At that time, Ryan were interested in learning more about computers from Keith. Often, they spoke together about different things and the difficulty of family relationships. One day Keith invited us to a marriage seminar and we went there to hear what the importance in a marriage is. That day, I realized that our relationship as husband and wife were not going in the direction we liked it to go. There were times when Keith came over to our apartment and talk to Ryan about other subjects. I listened to their conversations and it seemed like they were going in a straight line without any twist or turns. When Keith lefted, I kept thinking, what does he have that we don’t have and why is he so different? I couldn’t figure out why until now, I finally knew  what Keith and his family had. They had Jesus Christ as their savior and Jesus Christ is the one who can make all things possible when they ask in the name of Jesus.

Last year 2006, Ryan came to me and said that he wanted to change beliefs. I have asked him, “why do you suddenly want to change? You told me that you would not change until you turn 40 years old which is ten years from now. ” He said to me that he wanted to change from the inside out. I kept questioning him, “what will our family say or think of us? How will I tell them? I am not sure of what to do?” I questioned everything to Ryan and to myself because I was worried. I didn’t know what to do so I called a couple of my friends who are also a Christian believer and they told me “to take things easy and you will understand more about it once you accepted him as your savior. Believe in yourself and things will come to you like you already been there or done that.” One of my old friend said to me that, ” I have to believe and find the light in my heart.” Then I realized that what she had told me was true.

August of last year, I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior and got baptized when we went to Camp Jim. Now, I feel like a totally new person who now have Christ their my life and I see things differently. I am happier than ever. Ryan and I spend more time with each other and we see good things happening to our life because of Jesus Christ who opened our heart and eyes to do his will.

Now that I am here as a believer with all of you, my life have changed for the better. I became more aware of speaking to others and I know that when I’m having trouble, I can just pray to Jesus and he will show me the way. Thanks to the lord that he have save my life and my family.

I was born into a Christian family.  My father was a dedicated Christian and a pastor.  When we came into the United States I was only 7 years old.  My four brothers and I attended a private school call Zion Lutheran School/ Church because it was both.  Every day at school before class would start we would pray, have religion class, and prayed before we ate lunch.  I was taught religion on the weekdays and was preached religion on the weekends.  My father was very strict and wanted us to not bring shame to God or to him. 

This was the world that I lived in, day in and day out.  I knew all the right answers in religion class but yet knew little about who Jesus was.  I knew all the rules and these rules kept me chained up like a prisoner.  Because of my environment I began to rebel.  I was always a rebel and a class clown even from a very young age.  I had a friend who was class clown number one and I was his side kick, or class clown number two.   Not only that I was very bitter at life and hated my teachers and parents for always punishing me and telling me how I should run my life.  As soon as I pick up the English language I began to pick up swear words and violent behaviors.  Getting into fights at school were common all throughout my school years at Zion.  I was in the principles office as early as first grade.  Back in my days they still allowed spanking in private schools even though it was band in the public schools.  Yes, that was when I was introduced to the board of education, or the paddle.   It was basically a bat that was flattened and on it were the words, “the board of education.”  I was told of what I had done to deserve this and to bend over.  That’s when the principle unleashed his anger.  The first time didn’t hurt as much as the second.  Still that didn’t stop me.  Every year I met with the principle at least two to three times.  I was lectured and spanked by all my teachers several times more than I can remember.  Even though my attitude was bad my grades were good.  By the time I was in third grade all the way to sixth grade I was actually an A- student but my attitude was definitely an F+. 

            My encounter with Jesus Christ was at the age of thirteen and during last year at Zion.  Of course it was an argument that led to a fight.  This was a fight between me and an African American girl.  She began to chase me and was going to scratch me so I ran and then I remembered that I knew Kung Fu.  So I said to myself, “You shouldn’t let this girl chase you, fight back you chicken!”  So I stopped looked at her as she was still running towards me and I kicked her in the stomach.  She fell down and was not breathing.  The teacher came to her aid and tried to get her to breath again.  Right then I was shocked and scared.  I said to my self, “What have you done?”  “You’ve really done it this time.”  Just as I was thinking those thoughts the principle had just walked into the gym and witness the whole thing.  His face was streamed up.  He walked over to me and he picked me up, put me on his shoulder and brought me to his office.  That afternoon in his office He said nothing for a while and then asked a question, “Son, what are we going to do with you?”  He wrote a letter about what I did and told me he was thinking about expelling me from school.  He told me to bring the letter home to my father.  I thought I was going to be expelled for sure and that my father would kill me if he ever read the letter.

After reading the letter my father was speechless.  He to had only questions, “Son what am I going to do with you?”  “When is this going to stop? ”Whipping you doesn’t help.  I don’t know what to do any more.”  That’s when I said to my father, “I don’t know what to do with myself either, but dad, could you pray for me?” After he left my room something happened to me.  You can say I was touched by the Holy Spirit.  I began to feel sad and tears began to fall.  This was uncommon because as a boy you just don’t show your feelings.  But the more I tried to not cry the more the tears fell.  That night I knelt down at my bed and gave my life to Christ.  I asked Him into my heart and I promised Him I would right the wrong I did to Him and to others and I would begin tonight.  After that night I began to read the Bible.  I have read the Bible several times in the past but this time it was different.  This time the Holy Spirit would speak to me as I read.  It convicted me and cleansed me of my sins.  I felt a load of guilt and sin was taken off my back.  God word gave me hope and a new purpose in life.  I began to sing songs from the Christian Hymnal which gave me joy.  I use to hate these things in the past but now I couldn’t get enough of it.  It was during that time that everything I knew up in my mind began to slowly moved down to my heart.  

Since then my life has never been the same.  Now after twenty-two years I have only begun to grow and understand a little of what being a child of God is all about.  Not long after I accepted Christ I allowed God to use me to be a youth director for my church, I later gave my life to the ministry and attended Crown College, after that I served as a youth pastor at Twin Cities Hong Alliance Church, I finished my graduate studies at Bethel Seminary, and became a senior pastor of the same church were I was a youth pastor.  Friends here I am today at Light of the World Alliance Church.  I can’t and don’t want to stop the good work that was started in me.  I want to be a light to others so that they to may experience the love and power of God as I to have.  Praise be to God who is should receive all the glory for the work that He has done in me.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

At the age of 5, I fell into a gushing river right after the rain and was almost drowned. I must have drifted for about 40-50 feet from where I fell. I saw my life passing before my very eyes. All of a sudden, I felt a hand reaching out towards me and I grabbed it and was pulled out of the water. Then I realized I was on top of this humongous rock. I often wondered how I was able to pull myself out of the water and landed on the rock. For the first time in my life, I knew someone was watching over me.

In the early 80’s, my family landed in Lansing, Michigan and we went to a Lutheran Church in Michigan. During Christmas of 1981, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and my Savior and was baptized. Miraculous things begin to happen to me from that moment on. I remember many times, I am able to do things I know I’m not smart enough to do. However, life has its twists and turns. Later on, my father and mother decided that they would return to carry on the old ways. It was a sad moment in my life and I did not know how I was going to carry on with my faith.

In 1989, we moved to Minnesota after we moved from Lansing, MI to North Carolina for a year. Later on, I went to the University of Minnesota, Morris and met Ameilia, whom later would become my wife. I had promised her that when I marry her we would go to church. Some how, she believed in me. In 1994, we got married. However, I was not strong enough to make that decision and dragged both our lives along with what ever my relatives were doing.

In 1999-2000, we hit rock bottom and was struggling with our marriage. I went from denial to isolation. For some strange reason, I wanted to free my wife and was remorseful that because of me, she’s in this awful state of chaos with me. I begin to thrash harsh words at her and tell her to leave me and just go back to her own life and forget about me. I knew it was wrong to say all those harsh words that I said to her but I could not help feeling the way I felt. There was a sense of freedom I felt for her the more I hurt her knowing that she might leave me. However, in my heart, there was a feeling of chaos and confusion. I became so lonely and lost all sense of direction in my life. All I wanted to do was to find love and peace, the kind of peace that I once had before all this madness. I was yearning and hungering for this peace but whatever I do, I could not find it. In fact, I became even more confused and lonely the more I tried to repress the feeling. I feel like I just want to run away from everything so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain or hurt anyone. I told my wife, I need it to go away. So I went away to California for about a week. I just needed to know if the pain would go away! I didn’t know what to expect or what to do. All I know is that, if I keep this to myself and hurt my wife, sooner or later, our marriage would be over.

By the grace of God, when I was in California, one night, I begin to pray to God for Him to restore His peace upon me. After I prayed, God opened my eyes and I felt like I have been asleep in a coma for so long but now I was wide awake. At that very moment, a feeling of peace came upon me and I wanted to come home and hug my wife and tell her I love her. From that moment onward, God restored me and blessed my life. God blessed my family. God also blessed me with a job I didn’t ask for. In 2001, I heard God telling me in my heart to go to North Carolina and declared to my cousins that when I return from my trip, I would go to church and follow Jesus Christ for the rest of my life! And so this is my story…

Friends, I don’t know what you are going through right at this minute but I want to let you know that there is a God and He has a plan for you. All it takes is one cry to heaven and God can change whatever obstacles you may be facing into opportunities for you. For every saint, there is a past, and for every sinner, there is a future. Will you give God a chance?

Then I came to know Keith…he knows computer and he has a lot of movies. It is not like I never watched movies before, but with this friend Keith Vang….he just seemed to have those movies that I never have seen before too. He had so much to share with me that I could never seemed to get enough out of him.

I have had known him for about 3 years so, I came to question myself one day—how come this friend have so much to share and so many times just with the same stuffs, but I never got bore out of it? So, I told myself…I need to stick with him to find out who and where he got all those information to share passionately with me, because I want to be like him.

The year 2004 came and he began share about Jesus Christ to me with his testimony of how he be where he is. And then one thing led to another…my wife and I were invited to New Life’s marriage seminar event where it gave I another TURNING POINT. Then this church: Light of the World announced and Keith told me that he would sing a song to his mom on that Mother’s Day. So, he asked me “would I come?” I replied him “YES”, because I have not heard anyone.

Then I start to read the book of JOHN in the BIBLE and when I came to the passage

(John 1:39, 43) “COME, AND YOU WILL SEE.” “FOLLOW ME.” So, that was exactly what I did. The Sunday after church while my family were driving home, I told her that I decided to follow Jesus Christ. Now everything from my wife’s thought burst open. Almost every kind of critical questions came like: Why this soon? How come? What will I say to others? What will other say to me? What about your cousins &relative? What will my family say to me? You have to do this first (Tis npe Laus) before I will follow with you.

This is what I had answered her: I put my trust in Jesus Christ that he’ll help us to answer all those questions for us when it is his time. But now I want to do something good for our family and that something good is to follow Jesus Christ! The elders and the pastors had prayed to help us too. So this last year in the mid August, my family had baptized into the name of God the father, Jesus, and the Holy spirit.

Va and I got married in the summer of 2000 at the age of eighteen. We were young and naive. As we began our lives together, I realize that living together as husband and wife was a lot harder than when we had thought. We were married and we had to become mature adults, yet our minds still thought like teens. The thought of me ever attending church or becoming a Christian was put in the back of my mind because his family did not believe in God. Leading a Christian life was not a priority of my husband or mine.

During the tough times in our marriage, I prayed to God for help. I was alone in prayer. During my childhood, I was taught early on to pray sitting up. A couple of times, when I made Va pray with me (before going to bed), I just automatically thought he knew that he should sit up and pray. He did not want to sit up and pray and he did not see anything wrong with lying down and praying. I got mad at him because I thought he was not praying correctly. These were part of the hardships that we faced in the marriage. This caused a strain in our relationship because it always seemed like I was pressuring Va. When I got mad at him it pushed him further away from believing in God.
Through out my marriage, my mother encouraged us to become Christians. This was a tough decision because Va’s family did not believe in God. I did not know how to start to become a Christian when my husband did not understand what it meant to live a Christian life. We were on different pages about Christianity. I could not explain or help him in becoming a Christian because I did not have spiritual growth and I did not have a relationship with Jesus. There was a sense of unhappiness and emptiness in our marriage.

As my trouble heart persisted and as I prayed to God for help I believe my prayers were answered when I attended Hmong Community and heard Pastor Jacob’s teachings about the Word of God. This sense of hunger and thirst was not food, but I believe it was my spirit’s hunger and thirst for the Word of God, for my Savior’s love and protection.
In the summer of 2003, my mother and my older sister has been encouraging my husband and I to attend their church. Finally, we attended church and became members of Hmong Community Alliance Church after hearing Pastor Jacob‘s teachings on the word of God. After four years of marriage we decided it was time to bring a child into the world. When I got pregnant in 2004, we were going to commit our lives to God. We agreed that we both benefited greatly from his teachings. It was a tough decision to commit to Christ but we both agreed that as a young couple we did not have good role models or leaders to help our marriage. I did not want to pressure Va or push him away. Coming to Christ was an individual decision each of us had to make and then, as a couple we decided it was the right thing for us and our growing family. In the fall of 2005, we became members. That’s when we accepted Christ into our hearts.

When we did not have Christ in our life, our thinking and way of life was different. There are times when we are facing tough situations and I find that we are not mad at each other as much. Now we have a sense of peace even though times are tough. When we are at the end of our knowledge about certain things we pray together. We encourage each other to live like Christ. When I get mad at my husband, I find him praying to God. Whereas, when we did not have Christ in our life, he would most likely be playing his play station 2 or finding some sort of entertainment to ‘get his mind off the problem’. Living life with Christ is helping me personally and my marriage. The biggest difference is in how we are dealing with the problems in our marriage and in our family. We truly know our purpose in life now.

Before I decided to come to Light of the World Alliance Church, I didn’t feel comfortable going to church. Since my family had not gone back to church for such a long time, I felt nervous and uncomfortable whenever people invited my family to go visit their church. I thought it was nice of them, but the thought of going back to church was out of the question. The first thing on my mind was questions, such as “What would people say about me since I am new? I don’t even know anyone there? What should I do? Where do I go? Is there anything I should know?” all of these questions wondering around in my mind. Truthfully, I was uncomfortable, especially the thought of people staring at you because you are new to the crowd and it seemed like everyone there knows everyone else. I think that was probably me thinking too much about other people’s views.

When I heard that my older brother, Va and his wife, Darling have decided to attend church in 2005, in a way I was not surprised. I knew that it was probably the best thing since my family was neither Christian nor much into Shamanism.

Then one day I decided to tag along, when my brother Va and his wife had invited us to attend Light of the World Alliance Church in 2006. Before coming to church, I’ve heard them talk a lot of things about what they’ve learned by going to church, how they got to meet new people and how it had changed their life. Since Light of the World Alliance Church was a new church and did not have many members yet. I felt less nervous about going because there weren’t many people there. The thought of that calmed me down. Plus, I know my brother and his wife.

After attending church for the first time in a long time, it probably had been over 15 years since I last went to church, I felt really good. Maybe not going to church and hearing God’s words was the part of my life that was missing all these years. The people there were really nice and welcoming. I knew that this was the kind of place I really wanted to come and hear the sermon every Sunday. Pastor Jacob’s sermons were interesting and sometimes had a few laughs.

I decided that if I had Christ in my life, I would become a better and stronger person. I remember before I came to known Christ, my life was always so gloomy. Although I didn’t express how I really felt inside, my life seems pretty normal from the outside. The truth was that I cried almost every night not understanding why I am always so emotional or felt that I was weak and couldn’t do anything. I was the type of person who thought a lot about other people’s feelings before my own. Whenever I seem to face something like this, I felt really weak. Also, everything around me was changing. My parents always seemed to have arguments about the same old stuff and I was tired of it, but I felt like I couldn’t do anything about it. I guess this was a time when I fell to a phase of depression. At school, I wasn’t very sociable and didn’t have many friends. I was mostly a loner. It felt like I wanted to isolate myself from others. Although I may be around people, in my heart, I was very sad. It was like putting on a fake smile and pretending to be someone else who I knew I wasn’t.

After attending church and getting baptized at Camp Jim in August 2006, I see that my life has changed in some ways. I became more sociable and was able to meet new people. The things in my life became brighter and the darkness seems to disappear. There were times when I felt really emotional and weak again, but I prayed to God to ask for his help. Praying really helped me to be strong and to believe that there is more to life than just being in the darkness and that if you believe in yourself, you achieve anything. Everyday I feel so much happier although there may be times when I am by myself. I don’t feel as lonely as I used to. Everything I do, I believe God is watching over me to do the right things. When I think life is tough, I know he will help me along the way, if I just ask him. He’s always up there looking down at me. I know following Christ is the best thing I have ever done. I want to continue his work and tell everyone else who has not known Christ yet, to bring them to the joy that we all share.

When I’m not doing anything right that fits my dad’s expectations, he would compare my sisters and me to his other daughter (my step-sister) and his words would make us feel like we’re not good at anything. Maybe we’re nobody in this world, but just came down by accident and are slaves to people. On September 15^th, 2006; that daughter that my dad loved so much had left this world and maybe it was her time to leave us. She was only 10 years old and died so young. It was unbelievable to everyone because everything happened so fast and my dad turned to Christ at that time. We had my older sister’s Pastor come to pray at the hospital as well as Pastor Jacob and Reverend Chong Ge. My brothers, sisters, and I prayed at home together. We prayed out loud for her health to get better or if God sees that she should leave this world then we’ll let her go. A few days later, God spoke to me that my family should let my step-sister go because it was her time to go and I started to cry to myself. Although her time is short-lived, I’m glad I got a chance to know her and be her older sister even though we don’t live in the same house and don’t get to see each other. After my step-sister didn’t wake up, my dad lost faith in God and just ignored him.

Around the month of January 2006, my mom was in the hospital and that evening my older sisters and I went to visit my mom. I begin to wonder why it always had to be my sisters and I helping my mom. The thought of it made me feel so low and while working on my homework I couldn’t help to think, but about all the worries in my life. I begin to cry and when my sisters and I got home, I went straight to the computer and turned it on. I try to relax myself from thinking too much and see if my sister-in-law was online during the time since it was night. She was online and I chatted with her on MSN messenger. I told her what happened to me that day and she told me I shouldn’t think so much because there’s far greater stuff for me in life than just thinking about killing myself. She suggested I should try listening to some Christian music to help me out and see if I like it. Apparently, I went to download some music I remember when we sang at Camp JIM. These were the songs I thought was good. I listened to the songs and it was so powerful, especially; “We Cry Holy” because it gave me the courage and strength to think about myself. Since then, I’ve been listening to KTIS Christian Radio everyday at any time and the words are so powerful. It always uplifts me.

Although there are so many expectations for me, I still manage to get through without having to worry about anything. Since I believe in Jesus Christ, everything in my life became easier and I can care less what people think of me. Even though I feel lost in life at times, God is always protecting me from evil and guiding me each and every day. Sometimes I think about all the problems that surround me and what I have been through. I thought about what Jesus have done and gone through to die on the cross for my sins and everyone’s sins. Forever I would praise the Lord and lift his name up high. I will finish his work before his son Jesus comes to save all the believers and take us all to heaven. Thanks to my sister-in-law and my brother for encouraging everyone in the family, because I wouldn’t stand where I am right now. I learned that it’s just a blessing to live each day. Each day is a new journey for me and even if I stubble upon an obstacle, I will never give up because it is the power of God that lifts me up. Before believing in God, I would live my life like a sinner always thinking about doing cruel things to myself and being negative. Now that God had come into my life, whenever I have that feeling I would pray to him and have him lead me the way even if it takes time. Accepting Christ into my heart, made me stronger and before I would feel so weak inside that I could just easily give up. Time is always a challenge, but I want to leave that in God’s hands because he’s the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit who helps those who are lost in the darkness.